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Monthly Archives

March 2017

020: Mindy Gledhill on Parental Transparency and Avoiding Fear & Shame Based Responses

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In today’s episode Dr. Money talks to Mindy Gledhill, an amazing indie singer/songwriter who stands up for important issues in her native Utah, particularly among LDS communities.

 

They answer a listener’s question who asks for help discussing her feelings about gender inequality inside the church  with her father who currently serves as an Area Authority Seventy. This listener wants to be open and honest with her family, but worries about damaging or losing her relationships with them.

 

In response, Dr. Money and Mindy discuss the important concepts of “differentiation” and “enmeshment.” When these ideas are employed, they go a long way towards improving one’s personal mental health and building healthy relationships.

In terms of links, please check out Mindy’s work – she’s amazing!
Mindy’s open letter to Elaine Dalton
Mindy’s amazing music
Mindy’s new project (incredible)
One of Dr. Money’s favorite videos…Seriously, the cinematography in Mindy’s videos is lovely/amazing/captivating/all of the above!!

If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

019: Strengthening a Friendship While Disclosing a Faith Journey

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In this episode Dr. Money along with Marco, our podcast editor, and two of his active LDS friends, Saul and Katelyn attempt to answer a listener’s question about how to disclose their faith journey to a close friend without losing that valued friendship.

We discuss how Marco disclosed his own faith journey with Saul, how he and Katelyn reacted, and best practices for assuring the disclosing doesn’t turn into a burned bridge.

For context, you can find the letter Marco wrote to disclose his faith journey to Saul.

[Letter]

Saul,

My friend – I like these catch-up sessions. I’ve probably started this email 10+ times but pulled back because I didn’t know how deep these emails should be. Then I thought: “hey, you’re talking to your friend Saul” and I decided I’d be transparent….

[omitted non-relevant content]

…The last point I want to touch on is my faith. Besides my wife and my Bishop Saul – you’re the first person I’ve commented about this and I’d love to get your thoughts/insight. I’ve always tried to be a good person – I do have my faults, but I’ve always to tried to overcome them. I’ve always felt the Church was a place where I could grow and improve. But I have to tell you that about 4 months ago in Sunday school we were talking about the Priesthood and how in 1978 it was opened to all worthy males. It is a topic that always made me sick to my stomach. It seems so odd now that was the norm back then and I asked the older members what was the reason given at the time. Some brought up the curse of Cain (which is doctrinally unsound) then there was awkward silence and we moved on. But Saul – I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Especially understanding that Joseph Smith had in fact ordained black members of the church – what changed?

It nagged at me and I begin to research. Saul, it occurs to me that there is a chance that you might construe this as my attempting to convince you at some point, I want to assure this is not the case – I am merely attempting to clarify what my thoughts are/were so I can attempt to gain more understanding on my feelings. With that said, the sick feeling in my stomach led me to research. I wanted to try to gain an understanding of when/why things changed after Joseph Smith as perhaps it would shed light/understanding and bring me to a satisfying resolution. It was hard to find non anti-mormon information on the topic, but I did find information.

The Church’s position is that for reasons unclear today sometime while Brigham Young was the prophet, the practice changed. This practice was continued on for almost 100 years until 1978. Long story short (because I need to get ready for work) – I am pained to think that the tenants that I’ve held to for so long could be wrong. I’ve always believed that the Prophet is the voice of the God – and that should he think of doing something against his will God would take him from this earth. Sadly this did not happen for Brigham, nor for all of the prophets for near 100 years. It is hard for me to believe that God wanted that practice changed – that he would put aside certain people for that long. So I’ve made a decision to put a pause on Church for now. I’m sure this all sounds crazy. It is really hard for me to bring this up w/ anyone. I want to want to try to get some feedback – I’ve continued to pray, and well friend, I hope you can give me some insight.

Sorry if this email is too heavy – but it is simply on my mind. I really appreciate your friendship Saul. Please give my best to your family!

[End Letter]

If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

018: Validation & Respect Exercises for Mixed-Faith Couples

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In this episode, we interview a mixed-faith couple who is making it work. They discuss how one of them began to journey away from the church, how that affected each of them, and what they strived to do to make sure they could focus on strengthening their relationship through the process.

They also model the exercises in Part 2 of the Mixed-Faith Marriage Workbook found on the HMJ Materials page.

If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit the HMJ Donation page for more details. Thank you.

017: Sis. Jan Chamberlin on Leaving MoTab and Parenting When Children Leave The Church

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In today’s episode, Dr. Money introduces a new survey which has tremendous potential to help others working through their faith journeys – so we need as much participation as we can get! (it takes 1 min – click here to participate).

 

Dr. Money also spends time with Jan Chamberlin, discussing her reasons for resigning from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (MoTab). Additionally, Jan helps respond to a listener’s question about her relationship with her son who has left the church. Jan gives personal insight into how she, as an active Latter-day Saint, has worked on maintaining a strong and fruitful relationship with some of her children who have journeyed away from orthodox LDS beliefs.

The Families and Faith Journeys survey is about family reactions to belief changes. It will take about 1 minute and the HMJ Foundation will use the completely anonymous/confidential results to protect and improve relationships despite changes in belief. Click on this link to participate.

Also, for those interested, here is a link to Jan Chamberlin’s CNN interview about her decision to resign from MoTab.

If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit hmjfoundation.org/donate to help us further this work. Thank you.